REELECT BRAD
Flipper Tag!

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A Brief History: Flipper Tag was created by Brad Hannah, Matthew Schipper, and Jared Dunsdon at Guthrie Grove during the summer of ’97.   It was made up and refined on the fly, becoming a high-endurance outdoor sport involving a good deal of spanking.

You Will Need: A pair of flippers (hence the name of the game), an empty green 20 ounce pop bottle (yes, it MUST be green), and Spankers.  Spankers can be fashioned of anything from a ping-pong paddle to a 2x4 but we prefer a rolled up magazine secured with a generous amount of duct tape.  The size of the playing field is dependent on the number of people playing, so experiment with this.

The Basic Rules: 1 person is ‘it’, wears flippers and carries the pop bottle, which they tag the others with.  The bottle can be thrown or simply used to poke.  Everyone else has spankers and can choose their footwear.  These items are traded off when a new person is tagged and play continues whenever the flippers are good to go.  Spanking of the ‘it’ person is allowed at any time, on the ass only, and the last player to successfully spank ‘it’ before getting caught is safe until someone else either spanks ass or is tagged.  At the point of a new ‘it’ the game resets.

How To Play.  Some Strategy: To determine who is ‘it’ at the beginning of the game lay all spankers on the ground (this will be the number of players minus one, a la spoons).  Back up 40 yards and sprint for a spanker.  Tripping and other foul play is encouraged so that the strongest prevail.  Whoever comes up short dons the stylish flippers and tagging device.

You DO NOT want to be it.  Avoid this at all costs.  Running in flippers is awkward and quickly turns your legs to Jell-O.  The person who is ‘it’ suffers all the penalties.   The object of the game is to inflict punishment on others and dodge it yourself.  There is no score, teams (although alliances do arise), time limit, or winner.  Just pain, sweet sweet pain.

Assuming you are ‘it’, you must tag another player with the pop bottle.  Flippers slow you down and make cornering or stopping difficult.   Most of the time it will be necessary to THROW the bottle at someone.  If it touches them at all, whether off a bounce, ricochet, roll or other, then that person is it.

However, if you miss you have placed yourself at great risk.  Your only advantage is that others do not want to be it and fear your bottle. Until you recover it after an errant toss you have no means of tagging anyone.  You are a target.  (Note: Impeding the path of the ‘it’ person to the bottle is a penalty subject to Brigadoon.)

Prepare to be descended upon like vultures on a buffet of dying tourists.  The other players will now attempt to spank you raw as you scramble for your bottle.  (Note:  Ass-guarding, the blocking of a spank with the hands, is a penalty subject to Brigadoon.  It is legal to twist the torso or spin, but not to lie down on the ground so as to hide your ass from its rightful beating.)  The last player who spanks ‘it’ is then considered invincible and can’t be tagged.

All penalties are enforced by Brigadoon.   Brigadoon means that all players line up, spankers at ready, and the offender must run the gauntlet with arms raised above the head.  Penalties include; impeding path to bottle, ass-guarding, running out of bounds, abuse of safe privileges (repeated spankings), and anything else deemed collectively dickmunch.

That about explains everything you need to know to start up a fantabulous game of Flipper Tag so get spanking!