| News: Updated Daily! March 7, 2000
Hello Brad supporters! I won't go so far as to say that today's bearpits were a raging
success, but all staff members agree that it went ten times better than last year's
fiasco. In general the event seemed much more lighthearted and whimsical this year, and
while we probably can't take all the credit for the change in attitude, we will anyway.
Our immature tomfoolery has paved the way for similar silliness. Speaking of which, the
spanking booth was a raging success, as my sore ass can attest. Maxon Thrasher certainly
proved worthy of his name, giving me the worst beating of the day and breaking one of our
hand-selected spankers in the process. My hat goes off to you. I was actually kind of
shocked that more people didn't take us up on the offer to spank or be spanked by the
candidate. I know that if I saw someone else with a spanking booth, I'd come a-runnin'.
Maybe I'm just weird that way...
Brad
March 5, 2000
Sunday is our day of rest before gearing up for the final leg of the
campaign, just as God intended it. Saturday was busy with the free concert on the lawn, some Flipper
Tag, and a couple of evening cameos. Sean ran into
Erin Rae Lundy at COSA's wrasslin' show and she finally agreed to the date. It seems she
thought we might make a production out of it, which is just silly. Stay tuned for pictures
of the big night!
Cam Casey has been promoted to an official member of the staff,
replacing Jared Dunsdon as an Advisor. His dedication to the cause and donation of time
earned him personalized buttons and his very own bio. On this day of reflection I also
need to thank Alex Wilson for providing the fanfare you hear each and every time the site
opens. It puts the 'ass' in 'class'. And lets give it up for all the hard work Filip is putting in on the website. Many people have
contributed in small ways to the success of Reelect Brad, but I forget the little people
so quickly. Sorry.
Our election poll has Brad with a slight lead at the midway point. We asked the staff and
helpers who they'd vote for if the election was held today and Brad beat out Mike Morain 5-4. Things are looking good.
There is also a bit of a scandal and in the journalistic interest of full disclosure I
must report that the rumors are true. It seems that Brad charged $2.38 for a Slushie drink
and Zours candy to the campaign. This is a flagrant misuse of the allotted $50 funds
limit. Way to blow it again, oaf.
Matthew
March 4, 2000
Greetings to all once again. The Arts and Crafts day went better than expected which
really isn’t saying much. Everyone who
dropped in had a great time making us some promotional posters and other nifty junk that
we shall cherish forever. (Or throw it out,
whichever comes first.) Many people took a
shot at the free Donkey Punch and proceeded to
make all sorts of rude faces.
The bad news is that Erin Rae Lundy remains at large. Perhaps if you know her you could mention that she
won a date with Brad. We’d love to get a
picture of her for the site, or better yet, a picture of Brad and Erin on a real date. For now we’ll keep trying to track her down
with the hounds.
Brad and staff are gearing up for Saturday in the Park
featuring the live music of Ryan Carver and friends.
I hope to see a good crowd and maybe a few brave souls will play Flipper Tag! As I
write this it is about time to go out and begin Hobo
Night and I fear no one will join us. Ah,
the lonely existence of the hard luck life… That’s
about it from campaign headquarters. Keep
watching the stars!
Matthew
P.S. I’d like to give a
personal shout out to Ehren, Wayne, and Lumpy for their support.
March 3, 2000
The Booth o’ Fun has been a hoot for us on the staff.
Watching everyone play Ring-Around-Brad filled us with
that special kind of joy usually reserved for proud parents at a science fair. Many
people won prizes (and there are still plenty more to go around so stop by), but most
people gave Brad at least one decent thwack with an errant toss. That alone made this
whole campaign worth it. Friday we will have all sorts of colorful supplies for you
to make arts and crafts, plus free Donkey Punch! (You know you’re curious…) Then
spend the evening bumming around with Brad at Hobo Night on the Commons lawn. Bring
something (preferably edible) to toss into the giant pot of hobo stew and tell sob stories
around the ol’ fire barrel at smoker’s corner.
Also remember that we update the site with new pictures, doll costumes, and press
releases each and every day. The site has had
nearly 250 visits so far, although we estimate that around 200 of those are from staff
members and their girlfriends. WE sure find
ourselves amusing. Erin Rae Lundy, winner of
a date with Brad, has cleverly eluded us so far, which we understand and expected. Not to worry, I am dedicated to providing her
notification of this prize catch through campus mail, e-mail, voicemail, and possibly a
Chad Stangl singing messenger. That’s
about it for now boys and girls. Be good!
Matthew, Campaign Manager.
March 2, 2000
Thanks to everyone who entered yesterday’s “Win a Date
With Brad” contest. I was truly amazed at the turnout. Where are all of you when
I’m not running for office? Unfortunately, there can only be one (cough, cough) Grand
Prize winner, but we do have some nifty crap for the two runners up. Speaking of which,
here are the results of our totally random (I swear) drawing. Bringing up the rear in
fourth place, and winner of a lovely Brad poster is Associate Campus Minister, Shandra
Newcom-Wolsey. Coming in third, and taking home a stunning official Brad campaign button
is none other than our arch-nemesis, Michael Morain. In second place, earning a lovely
prize package consisting of a Brad poster, trading card, and keychain is Kurt Thrutchley.
And now, try and calm down, I know the tension is amazing but please don’t go all
freaky. The official Grand Prize Winner of the amazing night out with myself: (drum
roll)….Erin Rae Lundy! (Cymbal splash!) Congratulations you lucky girl, I’ll
pick you up at 9:00, what do you want for breakfast? To everyone who didn’t win
anything, stop by our booth today (Thursday) and play the “Brad
Hoop Game” for a chance at some other lovely prizes. Thanks for your support.
Brad
March 1, 2000
Hi everyone, and thanks for visiting my campaign website. I warn you
that if you are offended by anything you see here, it is your own damn fault for being
such an uptight pantywaist. If the previous sentence offended you, leave now. You have
been warned. To the rest of ya’ll, thanks for your interest in my campaign, hopefully
this year I can sucker more than 14% of you into voting for me. For everyone who’s
curious, there will be no posters this year, except for the one in the MSC, which
is boring. We’re trying to do something different this year, so this campaign is much
more event-oriented. Please check out the calendar of events,
for a complete list of all our immature shenanigans, and be sure to stop by our daily
booth-o-fun located in the MSC mainroom. I hope you’ll enjoy this year as much as
last. I know I will.
Brad
PS
Vote for me. |
